So I need to get something off my chest. Something happened earlier this week and I just need to get it out there. I know this isn’t really the appropriate place but hey, it is what it is. File this one under Meg’s on a Mission again.
This post is really weighing heavily on me today. I keep a lot of things locked inside, things that even my husband and parents don’t hear about. I mean, I told my husband about the woman who shushed my kid but I didn’t tell him about the teens at the library who said he looked “retarded”.
You see, my 6 year old son is a little different than most kids his age. He is an awesome little guy but sometimes people don’t see that. What people see is his odd choice of clothing or perhaps the big words he uses, sometimes all they see is an angry little boy who isn’t sure of the proper way to express himself.
Earlier this week, he, his brother and I visited a playground and library while we were waiting for another kid to finish up a drama class. My son chose to wear grey sweatpants, a dark green polo shirt, lime green Crocs and bright pink earmuffs. We normally visit these places when no one else is there because everyone else is in school. Unfortunately there was a student holiday this week and that’s the day we went out.
To the older child who pointed out how “weird” my son looked: I’m aware of his fashion choice and I’m aware that it doesn’t meet the criteria of “normal” but I would rather he be comfortable than “normal”.
To the mother who was sure he’d die from heat exhaustion: Yes, I know that it was 80 degrees outside and he was wearing sweatpants and I can assure you that if heat stroke was a real concern he’d be wearing other clothing.
To the teenagers who laughed at him & his earmuffs and had the audacity to call him retarded: How would you feel if exposure to a lot of noise confused you so much that all you could do was slink into a corner and cry?
To the lady at the theater who had the nerve to shush my child when he was asking me a simple question: How.dare.you?! That look I gave you was probably a million times worse than anything that came out of my mouth and I meant every single bit of it.
This world is made up of different types of people and we’re all beautiful in our own way. My son will probably never conform to what you think the world should look like, and you know what? We’re just fine with that. I can understand children having questions about his differences but why on earth does an adult think it’s ok to talk about him, especially when WE CAN HEAR YOU.
While you see a child who looks “weird” we see a unique and creative person aching to get out.
While you see a child who looks “retarded” we see a little boy with language so advanced that people think he’s older than he is but a body that is so small people think he’s several years younger. What do you think that feels like?
While you see an annoying child who should be seen & not heard we see a little man eager to share himself with the world that is denying him.
Above all else, my son is six years old. He’s six, let him be six and let him be himself. He has a long road ahead of him and eventually he will have to learn how to fit in, but for now just let him be my magical, loving, kind, brilliant, super, wonderful, giving, awesome little boy.
I love that you love him and stand up for him and allow him to be who he is. From everything I read about your son, I think he is a delightful and intelligent young man. I can’t wait to watch him grow into a young man and then an adult. And yes, I will be watching that long!
:D <3
First of all *BIG HUGS*
And secondly – good for you mama!
My little guy has autism, some motor delays, and is about a year or so behind in his expressive speech. He’ll sign things (sometimes ASL and sometimes his own version), he’ll act out, he’ll draw, and he tries to talk. He’s going on 5 but his speech is more like an almost 4 year old or so.
Nothing is as heartbreaking as other kids refusing to play with him because he can’t ride a bike or doesn’t understand a game – and their PARENTS encouraging it. Or people staring because he’s dressed up in super heroes from head to toe – from a Batman hat and gloves to a Justice league Tee and Avengers swim trunks. Yes all at the same time – yet somehow that means “weird.”
I agree – let them be the unique lil’ kids they are!
gee… i think his clothes sound perfectly normal. I have one of those kids too, and our homeschool co-op has several!! :) but thats the perfeact place for them to be able to be themselves!:)
Oh how I loved this post. Thank you for writing it.
I think we should start a club: VIUP (Very Important Unique People). Dressing like everyone else is boring. (This coming from the person who has found herself wearing one black sock and one white because she simply didn’t notice.)
I wish I could tell you that this gets easier – that people will suddenly become enlightened and accepting (NOT tolerant – he doesn’t need tolerance, he needs acceptance) – that these challenges will make him stronger. But I can’t. Just know that for all of those who don’t get him, he *will* come across a few who do, and those people will make all the difference!
Meg, i saw your post on FB and it made my eyes water. I haven’t had the privilege of meeting him, but i’ve met and hung out with the older two and they’re wonderful and amazing kids so I’m sure the others are too! You have an amazing family and I can’t believe the audacity some people have! What exactly is “normal”, anyway? Normal to me, is being free to express yourself in any way that doesn’t harm someone else. Whether that is blue hair (or pink like my daughters lol), tattoos, piercings, music, writing, or sweatpants and pink earmuffs (real men wear pink, by the way!). Who the hell cares? He isn’t bothering anyone. He’s being a six year old little boy learning about himself.
I’ve gotta give you kudos though! I’m sure you handled it much more tactfully and gracefully than I would have lol.
I happen to know this great little guy. He’s not weird. He’s wonderful. Every child is unique and amazing in his or her own way. Any adult who does not understand that, and any parent who does not teach their own children to be tolerant and accepting of differences is missing out on the opportunity to know and love some unique and amazing little people.